alexfreebomxy: Grandparent Prerogative

Grandparent Prerogative

5 hours ago

Dear Parents,

It was the Sunday after my second child was born 7 weeks early. A well-meaning friend asked me if My Mom was heading to Jakarta that week. I told her I wished that she was, but I had asked my Mom to wait until I was home from the hospital. My friend said, Well, did your Mom tell you that its grandmas prerogative to come now if she wants? I smiled and said that I wanted to respect my Mom?s wishes.

The conversation bothered me, but I wasnt sure why.

The truth is there are no grandmas prerogatives. There are only mom and dads prerogatives. A grandparents job is to help and encourage, offering assistance within the lifestyle and routines of this new family.

I am blessed to have had my parents model balanced grandparenting for me. They have given much love, been available, but never once pulled the grandparent prerogative card. Anytime I leave my kids in their care, Ive never worried if they would follow my instructions.

Whether youre the grandparent or the parent, its important to know that grandmas prerogative doesnt exist. The parents call the shots on how their kids are to be cared for and treated (of course, grandma can also set her own boundaries, especially if shes being taken advantage of by the parents).

If youre the parent, stand firm on what you want for your family. If a grandparent doesnt respect your wishes, set boundaries in place to protect your desires for your family. Yes, you may make some people mad, but your loyalties are now to your new family, not your old family.

If youre the grandparent, check your expectations and remember that your job is to defer to mom and dads wisheseven if you dont agree with them.

The goal is to have a good relationship between mom and dad and grandma and grandpa. Understanding that grandparent prerogative doesnt exist is a start to making that relationship strong! Happy Grandparenting and ?. of course, Happy Parenting!

Love,

Novita Tandry
Educational Psychologist
Tumble Tots and Leaps & Bounds Indonesia

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